Open Space

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I’m sitting here in front of the heater. The kids are all in bed (if not asleep!) and KB is not expected home until late tonight. I am rarely alone, so I did get a bit giddy at the thought of an hour by myself at home in the evening. The evenings have a certain calm and quiet about them that is difficult to replicate during the day, don’t you think?

So you can imagine the tension at about 6pm when the Pixie was screaming irrationally on the couch with an earache just as the home stretch towards bed time began! I doused her with homeopathics and cuddles to no avail, we moved to panadol and finally the storm that is Pixie has settled.

8pm now, and here I am. I’m foggy brained and full of half-thoughts. I’ll blame it on long-term exhaustion! But I’m here in this quiet, open space. I’m warm. I’m contemplating an early night (if all goes to plan – I should know, by now, not to jinx these things). Most importantly, the Pixie has recovered and, although she has been dobbed on twice for drawing on her doona cover with textas, is now quiet. The kettle is boiling and I just made a pretty yummy chocolate mousse with avocado, coconut cream, golden syrup, vanilla and cacao… I reluctantly scooped a few spoonfuls into a jar for K to have when he gets home before I ate the rest of it. I feel like I have to admit that I also licked the bowl. It was good.

The first week back at school has gone fairly smoothly. Birdie got dirt in her eye yesterday, her teacher tells me, but she didn’t want to go to the sick bay to have it washed out as she thought if you went to the sick bay you had to go home! It’s a relief after a term and a half of tearful goodbyes she is finally in her element. I knew she would love school, but I didn’t expect the settling in period to be so intense. I haven’t written about it much here, but to all the seasoned school mums – I salute you! I had no idea it could be so gruelling.

The weather is absolutely freezing here which has made the drop off and pick up interesting with three small kids (especially today when the grey clouds broke just as I was sitting in the school car park with the two littles sleeping in the back and one minute until the bell rang…) but overall it’s been an easy week so far.

As the gum leaves fought against the onslaught of rain and wind today, I am reminded of the persistence required each and every day just to stand strong. In our values, in our beliefs, but also simply as we move about our daily tasks. Sometimes I feel myself flailing and I have to hang on tight to keep my balance. Usually it’s just a ruffle, other times it is a stronger blow. All I know is we have to live each day the best way we can. For me that means slowing myself down (always), attempting to be mindful (when I remember), focussing on my family and friends, eating good food, and trying to be a compassionate person.

What does it mean for you?

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