Draft, always

A long time between words. Between thoughts between sittings between stringing words together into sensible-ish thoughts. So long, in fact, that the blog editor has changed since the last time I was here and I’m having all manner of tech challenges while writing this, including losing a complete post filled with words and photos, ready to publish. I went to eat dinner and while gone my computer went flat, the post unsaved. Alas, I try again, this time with truffles from Christmas in hand, a mug of steaming herbal tea and a quiet house.

2018 was a big year for us. I laughed earlier this afternoon as I re-read my hopes for 2018 which included enjoy a slow and quiet pace. Little did I know that this past year was not the year for slow nor quiet. It was deep and tumultuous and raw. It threw us around the place, those giant oceanic waves of change; unsteady, uncertain. At times I handled this with grace, at others; in a heap. Over the past year the Pixie started school, I started two jobs, and eventually decided not to continue with one of them as life was already full and busy enough. I lost a friend. We sold our home of 10 years, and bought another. We moved house. I hadn’t lived in a place for so long since my childhood home. We let go of one dream, and started another. We went camping in our little 1979 camper bought from the side of the road. We made plans.

Now: time to recalibrate. At the start of 2019 we have ended up somewhere unexpected, but ready and eager for this new beginning. I know the new year is only an illusion, but for me it is highly symbolic. I love the freshness that January brings, to think and dream and hope, don’t you? One of the things I’m aiming to do this year is read more books. Last year during all our change and upheaval I got into a terrible habit of mindlessly scrolling on my phone at bed time. I told myself I was ‘too tired’ to read and that I had to research houses and by the time I dragged myself away I would truly be too tired to do anything else but read one page of my book and go to sleep. I’m hoping to share more titles and thoughts with you later on (for now read this post and join in at #booksinourhands over on instagram). As luck would have it, when we moved into our new home in December we had a great deal of trouble with our internet provider. This fortunate situation (though I felt very disgruntled at the time) enabled me to break some patterns and our evenings have been largely spent pottering and reading – with a bit of telly splashed in here and there. I’ve loved this shift in focus. A good book that you’re dreaming of picking up as you move through your daily tasks also helps, for me right now it’s this one.

I am still working on some concrete personal goals for 2019, I generally spend the whole month doing this. Perhaps I’ll share some of them here in the future, but in the meantime, what about you? Does the tilt of the sun in January light you up with new beginnings? Does the quiet allow time for contemplation? I love the sense of disconnect we allow ourselves at this time of year, I feel cocooned by family, free to ignore emails, to dream and think and plan. I’d love to know what it’s like for you.