How quickly things change.
In my last post I was thinking I was the best mother and most amazing achiever in the world. Now I am just back to being a regular old sleep deprived mother who is unsure of pretty much everything. That’s right. Baby has decided that the middle of the night is her kind of time. As well as the start of the night, the deep hours of the morning and generally any time when I might think it would be the kind of time to sleep. An amazing mother would cope with this well, smiling as she whisked her baby out of the bassinet and into her arms. I dragged Baby into bed with me and lay there repeating, ‘What am I meant to do?’ until Prince Charming heard me and suggested I change her nappy. Any award winning mother wouldn’t have had to ask.
There is a problem with this picture. It’s 8.30am now and I am here, in my pyjamas, alone. Alone, awake. Alone, awake and talking about sleep deprivation. Baby is asleep, snoring probably. Just a few hours ago when the sun was still in bed, and I would have liked to be, Baby was awake for hours. Laughing, crying, trying to have a discussion with me. I’m feeling a little crazy right now. Not dangerous crazy, by the way, just the general kind of craziness you feel when you think about sleep and coffee. A lot.
To top it off, Prince Charming is home sick from work today, so he, too, is asleep, snoring probably. I’ve tried to do my regular amazing mother-of-the-year kind of routine this morning. I’ve wiped the kitchen benches, put a load of nappies in the wash, fed the bunnies and made my breakfast. I’ve even patted the dogs. But my tea is cold. My hair is a mess and there is dog hair all over the floor. I’m frowning. My eyes are drooping, there is no spark. A mother-of-the-year has spark. I don’t. I still have slippers on. This is all wrong.