Yesterday I caught myself saying a number of variations of:
I AM HAVING THE WORST DAY.
I started stomping my feet a bit and frowning. I growled at the girls and I ate pizza and a magnum for dinner because I had the WORST DAY and I totally deserved it.
I woke up this morning feeling a little ashamed. Because the night before my WORST DAY I was busy signing petitions and sharing things on facebook and getting so so so very angry about the terrible situation asylum seekers are finding themselves in Australia’s abysmal detention centres. I listened to the voices of real asylum seekers as they rang to inform our Asylum Seeker Resource Centre about what has been going on at Manus Island the past few days. I read articles about shit shit shit stuff. I thought about the pregnant women being separated from their small children to be brought to the mainland to give birth, often in late pregnancy with dubious support prior. I thought about our Government thinking that this is an OK thing to do. I thought about all the people I know who don’t give a shit or don’t care to research this issue or don’t care enough to look outside their own lives and care about someone else’s.
And then I had the nerve to wake up yesterday and go about my day as if it was the WORST DAY. Which it absolutely, totally and completely was not.
Sure, I may have had a few hiccups in the morning. I may have come up against some challenges.
Sure, I may have left two folders worth of confidential kinder documents on the roof of my car while I buckled up the Pixie and drove off only to realise when I got home that they were gone and have to drive back to find said documents and USB stick sprawled over the main road, run over and ripped and broken, over an area of about 100 metres and then have to run around like a mad woman collecting papers and stopping traffic and being beeped at by a very large truck and angry truck driver man while my children cried in the car. It wasn’t the best.
But it most definitely was NOT the WORST.
I woke up this morning, in a warm cosy bed, I went to a yoga class and was stretched and pulled in all directions by my teacher. I meditated and went home. I fed my two delicious girls breakfast and took them out for a coffee. I gave my big girl vitamin c and good things for her cold. I went to the shops and bought us food and nourishment. I came home and tucked them into warm beds and sat and had a cup of tea. I checked the internet at my leisure and read some blogs. I thought about what I will wear when I go out for dinner tonight.
Things seem continuously busy these days. By the time breakfast has been eaten, dishes cleaned, kids dressed, showers had, washing on… it seems it’s already time for lunch. It’s easy to get stuck in the cycle of the mundane, I know it.
But the thing is, the mundane will always be there. Waiting around like a bad friend you would like to see the back of. Unfortunately it’s just a fact of life.
These days I have to make a conscious effort to get outdoors, knowing we all feel so much better for it. The mundane, every day tasks become – dare I say – even enjoyable, for me, when I have had a good dose of fresh air and trees.
Prince Charming and I have had so many chats lately about trying to integrate some solid nature time into our lives each weekend – beyond our backyard.
As a result, last weekend we packed a picnic and ventured up into the Dandenongs on the outskirts of Melbourne.
The air was so crisp, so fresh. The pixie slept soundly in the ergo and we fed birds, picnicked and walked and walked and walked.
We spent the entire day out in the hills and came home feeling pleasantly tired, rosy cheeked and happy.
We know how important it is for us to connect with nature. We know it can sometimes take just a bit of effort to make it a priority. The house was a tip when we got home.
We took off down to the beach five days ago. A wintery, blustery, windy, soulful, refreshing time we had. We are back home now feeling relaxed, but of course not as relaxed as one would like once the pressures of life and all its administration return to flood us.
My favourite part of our time away was heading off for the afternoon with Prince Charming. We made left-over roast lamb sandwiches and chose a 6km bushwalk along the coast. It was just brilliant! Simple bliss. Just the two of us, stopping midway on a sandy beach to have our sandwiches before walking back. While we were walking down the little bush track we realised with amazement that it was actually the first time we had gone out together and left the children with the grandparents since the pesky pixie was born! Didn’t take us nearly as long the first time around!
I have been asking many questions of myself and Prince Charming lately. Who are we, what is our capital P Plan, where are we headed, which path will we take, and so on. We seem to have hit a time in our life where we are faced with a number of options, which is nice but also a bit daunting. One of the options is to stay put and do nothing different, which we have decided we will do, for a spell. I’m a dreamer but the Mr is a sensible chap, he only likes to delve into big plans if he has some sense they might actually happen. Boo to that Prince Charming.
My mouth spilled questions on our journey back from the beach. Then I got home and after the unpacking of the car, the dinner rush, the bedtime sagas, I sat a moment and had a little scan of a few blogs. I stumbled across this post and it was once again the little reminder I needed to stay put, in body and in mind, and be content with where we are at this moment.
I haven’t been getting the camera out much lately. Life has been flowing on day by day and we have been living it. A nice feeling really, not to be constantly viewing your life through the lens. Life first, lens second.
Now it’s holidays. Oh, how I love the holidays. The holiday feeling. Watching movies in the afternoons. Hearing the call of our kettle, filling hot water bottles and bringing our biggest mugs forward from the back of the cupboard for steaming cups of herbal tea in the evenings. Wearing loose trackies and jumpers around the house. Sometimes staying in pyjamas all day… oh, wait… 😉 Opening the blinds to the wintery sunlight…
In a couple of days we will head down to the beach. I love the beach in winter. I love rugging up and wandering the shores in the cold. I especially love it when the beaches are empty, don’t you? All the better to go home to the beach house couch and cosy dinners.
So for now I will just share with you a some more instagram pics, come and say hello there if you like, I’m there every day… @motherwho.
What are you doing this school holidays? Do the holidays mean anything to you or do you just work your way through? If you are in the Northern Hemisphere I think it is the middle of the super long summer break is it not? If so, enjoy! If down here, I hope the fire is stoked and you have a hot cuppa in hand.
Final note – having a school teacher for a husband: I recommend it.
Last weekend it was the Winter Solstice down here in Aus. For the second year in a row we went in to a community celebration organised by some dedicated and hard working family of mine. What an expert bonfire-mulled-wine-lantern-making family I do have! And all I did was front up on the night to enjoy the festivities and complain about all the hoards of people.
Celebrating the Winter Solstice is only something I started doing three years ago when I made it my mission (when Birdie was barely out of the womb) to celebrate every damn celebration I could so that I could say that My Family Has Traditions. I went a little crazy, even so far as to write them all down on brainstorm chart. I am so embarrassing, I hope I didn’t write about that on this blog somewhere because it really was just a little OTT. Three years down the track I’m really happy to say that of the 75 billion traditions I decided we would suddenly celebrate out of the blue with no rhyme or reason, the Winter Solstice is one that we have stuck with. It really is such a beautiful thing to recognise the seasons around us, to pay attention and to pay some sort of homage to the earth and the coming and going of the light and the history of such things. It fits in with our desire and effort as a family to work with the seasons, to eat seasonally, to live mindfully.
If I could tell my new-mother self one thing (actually this is not the one thing I would say if I could only say one thing but for now I will just say this one thing) I would tell her to take heart – never fear – for as a little tiny family evolves, traditions do come, even without the chart.
I took a few things to the Kongwak Market on Easter Sunday. I didn’t think it would take me so long to prepare, but it seems that nothing is very consistent around here, so I worked very hard in the week leading up to ensure I’d have enough to fill the table. I don’t think I will be going back to market to market any time soon, without the help of performance enhancing drugs (uh, joking).
What didn’t get sold at the market is now available in my etsy store. Feel free to have a squiz.